


I can't lose you like I've lost everyone else

by Lava



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode s03e09, Episode s03e10, Family, Feels, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt Alec, Hurt Magnus, Love, M/M, Non Magical Magnus, Sad Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:19:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lava/pseuds/Lava
Summary: After Alec got stabbed in the chest by possessed Jace, Magnus called Catherina for help.Using her magic, with some difficulties, she tries everything in her power to heal Alec.After Alec is healed, Magnus tells him what happened in Edom, and Alec reassures him that he will get his magic back.(I hate summaries sorry).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so forgive me for the mistakes.

After coming back from Edom, Magnus was ready to face everything : Lilith, her disciples, or even Jace. But what he wasn't prepared for was to see Alexander, on the floor, bleeding because of an arrow stuck at his chest.

 

Seeing Alec on the ground, vulnerable against the possessed Jace, made Magnus act instantly. He called to the power that his Father gave him, and with every strengh he had, he directed that magic towards Jace, and Jace hit the floor.

 

Magnus didn't wait, as soon as he saw Jace flying backwards, he run toward Alec. Using his hands to support Alec's head, he placed one of his hands behind Alec's neck, and he crouched down next to him. Then he said the only thing that he could think about,

 

''Stay with me''

 

Alec glanced at him. Magnus expected to see pain and suffering on his angel's face, but when Alec looked at him, he eyes were full of love ; and it made Magnus' heart beat a little bit faster.

After taking a shaky breath that made him cough, Alec looked at Magnus and said,

 

''Mom said you would make a dramatic entrance''

 

His voice was raspy. Magnus clearly understood that breathing became harder to Alec, and he also understood that Alec was trying to enlighten the mood even if he was half dying.

Trying to smile, Magnus looked at Alec for a few seconds, he replied,

 

''Wise woman''

Magnus could see how hard it was for Alec to stay awake with every break he took.

Magnus, now more than ever was feeling powerless.

The love of his life was struggling and in pain right in front of him and there is nothing he coud do about it.

To comfort him, Magnus hold Alec's hand with one of his own, and started to caress Alec's hand with his thumb.

 

''Alec. Alec'' said Jace, running towards both of them, and standing on the other side of Alec.

 

''Magnus, please you gotta fix him.'' begged Jace,

 

''I can't'' replied Magnus, which made Jace look up at him,

 

''What you mean you can't ?'' asked Jace ; Magnus could hear the desesperation of Jace through the question.

 

Looking down at Alec, and shaking his head, Magnus said,

 

'' My magic … it's gone. I traded it to break Lilith's hold on you''

 

Jace looked at him with tears in his eyes, then he took his stele and draw a rune on Alec, then he looked back at Alec.

 

''Jace it wasn't you'' said Alec, still struggling to breath,

 

Trying to control the urge to break down, Jace bite his lips and nodded to Alec, then Alec, closing his eyes, turned his head towards Magnus, barely conscious.

 

''I will take care of him'' said Magnus to Jace, then Jace nodded, gave Alec his stele, and went away.

 

Looking down at Alec, Magnus saw that he was still breathing but barely conscious, his eyes were still closed and his head tilted to Magnus' side.

 

'''No, Alec, Alexander you have to stay awake'' said Magnus, grabbing Alec's shouders with his hands and shaking him a little. Alec grunted in pain but kept his eyes closed.

 

''Tired … hurts'' whispered Alec, his voice full of pain, and raspy,

 

''I know, darling, but you have to stay awake for me alright ? Alec !'' called out Magnus to Alec, a little louder,

 

Finally, Alec opened his eyes again and his eyes found Magnus' and he smiled.

 

''You're here'' whispered Alec,

 

'' I am here, I am here, you're going to be fine, okay ? Stay awake Alexander, just for a little longer, stay with me. I am gonna get us some help okay ? You'll be fine'' said Magnus, to Alec.

 

Then reaching to his jacket's pocket, he grabbed his phone, and called Catherina, hoping she wasn't busy with her hospital shift.

One ring, two, and three rings passed but she didn't pick up.

 

''Damn it !'' yelled Magnus in frustation and anger. He was feeling useless, powerless, the love of his life was hurt and in pain, with an arrow stuck to his chest, and there was nothing he could do about it.

If something happens to Alec …

 

Before his thoughts could wander to a dangerous place, he felt a hand grabbing the nappel of his coat. It was Alec.

He looked down at him, and smiled forcefully, but Alec saw throught him, as usual.

 

''Magnus'' whispered Alec, his eyes half open. ''It's okay''.

 

Magnus immediately shaked his head left and right,

 

''No it's not. It's not okay ! You're hurting and there is nothing-''

 

''Magnus'' interrupted Alec once again, ''You're here. I will be fine'' said Alec, smiling up at him.

 

Magnus looked at him again. Alec was smiling at him, completely putting his life into Magnus' hands, because he trusts him.

 

Holding Alec's hand which was grabbing at his coat, Magnus smiled at him, and said,

 

''I promise you, I will take care of you okay ?'', at the urge of crying. He never felt this helpless before.

 

''I know'' said Alec, coughing up just after that, he groaned in pain, and the hold on Magnus' coat got stronger.

 

Immediately, Magnus tried Catherina again, praying to whoever was listening, for her to pick up.

 

''Please pick up, please Cat'' whispered Magnus to himself, holding Alec's hands to comfort Alec but also himself.

 

Next to him, Alec was having more trouble than usual to breathe.

 

''Alec ! Alec keep breathing !'' said Magnus, holding his cheek, and caressing it,

 

''Mmmh'' whispered Alec, and took difficultely a breath in and out, but then his eyes started to close again.

 

''No … No ! Alexander stay awake !'' yelled Magnus, putting his phone, which was still calling Catherina, on the ground, to shake Alec by his shoulders.

 

''Alec !''

 

'Mmh ?''

 

''Come on Alexander, stay awake !''

 

 

''Sleepy...'' answered Alec, his eyes still closed, but half conscious,

 

''Listen to me, don't you dare leave me... I can't-''

 

Magnus stopped his sentence, to take a deep breath, and shaking his head, he looked back at Alec,

 

''I can't live without you Alexander... ''

 

There. He said it. The thing which has been in his mind for the past weeks, he said it out loud.

It always terrified him, getting too close to mundanes, mortal people, too afraid to care too much, but never stopping because that what he does.

He cares too much. And he gets hurt in the process when the time comes for the people he cares about to leave him alone, permanently.

But everytime, it doesn't stop him from loving and caring about other mortals. Evertime he thinks it will hurt less, but it doesn't.

 

But Alec.

 

Alexander came into his life, when he least expected it. And Magnus fell in love with him at the most unexpected time.

 

And he never wanted to think about a time where Alexander won't be alive, breathing next to him.

 

When Alec came up with the immortality talk, and said ''One day I will be, (gone) and you will just move on'', something broke inside Magnus.

The reality came crashing around Magnus, the reality where Magnus was an immortal and Alec was a mortal.

 

Since then, his mind was thinking all kind of thoughts about what Magnus will do, when Alec will be gone. And eveytime he thought about it, he felt like dying.

 

The thought of Alec being gone one day, is something Magnus never want to think about.

And all of these thoughts, feelings, made him realize one thing.

He simply didn't want to think about Alec being gone because Magnus wasn't ready to let go Alec yet.

Not now, and maybe not ever.

 

Alec brought so much joy and happiness into his life in these past few months. He taught him how to love himself, how to not be ashamed of his blood and power.

 

And now Alec was bleeding in front of him, and Magnus wasn't prepared to lose him. Not now. It was too soon. They were supposed to have so much more time. This can't be their end. Magnus won't let it be.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2. 
> 
> Enjoy ^^

 

Alec, hearing what Magnus said, froze. And with little strenght he had, whispered,

 

''Magnus … not going anywhere... 'member ?''

 

''So stay awake then'' simply said Magnus,

 

''Please... Alec-''

 

''Promise'' whispered back Alec, his eyes now open. But Magnus could see that Alec was struggling to stay awake and to breath.

 

Catherina was still not picking up, so Magnus dialed her again, for a third time, and waited.

 

''Come on Cat !'' said Magnus to himself,

 

''Magnus'' heard Magnus, but this time, it wasn' t Alec, but Catherina.

 

''Oh thank God... Cat I need you ! Alec is hurt ! I don't have my magic anymore and I can't help him, he is bleeding, there is an arrow at his chest and I don't know what to do ! You have to help him. You have-''

 

''Magnus ! Magnus breathe ! Alec will be fine, I will track you and I will be there in a few seconds okay ? Just keep Alec awake ok ? I promise he will be fine.'' answered Catherina.

 

''Yeah okay. Okay.'' replied Magnus, trying to get back his emotions under control, so he can be fully focused on helping Alec right now.

 

Ending the call and putting carelessly his phone on the ground, Magnus kept his hand on Alec's cheek, and used his other hand to hold Alec's hand.

 

''Alexander'' called out Magnus, making Alec blink up at him.

 

''Catherina is coming, she will heal you and you will be safe alright darling ? You are going to be fine.''

 

''It … hurts... Magnus'' gritted out Alec, letting out a harsh breath,

 

''I know, the pain will be gone soon, you just have to stay awake for a few seconds, okay ? For me, stay awake alright ?''

 

''Ok..ay'' whispered Alec, swallowing with force, and the next second, a portal opened a few feet away from them, and Catherina came running to them, and crouched down next to Alec.

 

''Oh Alec'' whispered Cat, and using her magic, she transported Alec toward the portal, and Magnus followed after them.

 

As soon as they entered Catherina's house, she transported Alec to her guest room and put him on the bed.

 

Magnus got to the other side of the bed, to hold Alec's hand in his own.

 

''What happened ?'' asked Catherina, while tearing Alec's shirt, without touching the open flesh wound the arrow made, and careful not to move the arrow.

 

''I- hum made a deal with my Father, I gave up my magic''

 

''Magnus …'' started Catherina, but Alec grunted in pain, so she took a deep breath and said,

 

''We will talk about it later okay ?''

 

''Yeah'' said Magnus, ''Is Alec going to be okay ?'' asked Magnus, more distressed than before,

 

''I need to know if the arrow touched the heart or any artery'' replied Catherina. Taking a deep breath, Magnus nodded, his hold on Alec's hand strengthening.

 

''Alright'' whispered Magnus, praying to any Angels, or any … God which existed, and hoping that the wound wasn't too serious.

If anything happens to Alec, Magnus won't survive it.

 

''Ok Alec, this is going to hurt a little, but I need you to stay conscious for a few minutes for me okay ? Talk to Magnus if it will help alright ?''

 

''Okay'' whispered back Alec, and while Catherina was examining the wound, he turned towards Magnus and with a tired smile, he whispered,

 

''Hey'' which made Magnus smile back at him,

 

''Hey'' whispered back Magnus, using one of his hands to caress Alec cheek, and his other hands rested on Alec's chest, offering comfort.

 

''Are you … okay ?'' asked Alec, breathlessly, licking his lips which were becoming dry.

 

''I am okay Alexander, don't worry'' replied Magnus, not wanting to worry Alec about his magic being gone. But apparently, being almost inconscious doesn't stop Alec from listening carefully.

 

''But your magic … gone ?'' asked Alec, frowning, and definitely worried.

 

Sighing, Magnus answered,

 

''That's another problem for another day okay ? Now, let's just take care of you first, then we will deal with … me later, alright ?'' asked Magnus, smiling down at Alec. But Alec's mouth was in a firm line, and using his left hand, he hold Magnus' hand which was resting on Alec's chest and said,

 

''We will... find a … way to... get it back okay ?''

 

Oh, his precious Alexander, selfless and so caring...

Blinking back his tears which were threathening to fall, he smiled down at Alec, and he entangled his hand from Alec's, to hold Alec's hand in return.

 

''I don't think it will be that easy Alec'' said Magnus, caressing Alec's hand he was holding, with his thumb.

 

Suddenly, Alec hissed in pain, and arched his back, his chest still envelopped by Catherina's magic.

Panic immediately saized Magnus,

''Magnus ! Hold him ! If he moves too much the arrowhead might get stuck in his chest !'' said Catherina,

 

''Alec, Alexander look at me'' called out Magnus, using both of his hands to hold Alec by his shoulders,

 

''Aarggh … Magnus... hurts'' said Alec, his face full of pain and discomfort,and his head was moving to left and right,

 

''I know Alec, I know, but you need to stop moving okay ? Please Alec, please, just for a few minutes, stop moving, the pain will be gone soon, I promise'' whispered Magnus, getting closer to Alec, so that they were face to face.

 

''Alexander, It will be okay, I promise'' whispered Magnus again, closing his eyes, and bringing their foreheads together,

 

A few seconds later, Alec stopped moving, but he was still clearly in pain.

 

Opening his eyes, Magnus saw that Alec was already looking at him. And before he could stop it, a tear fall down on Alec's cheek.

 

Sniffing, and blinking to prevent him from breaking down in front of Alec, Magnus moved his hands from Alec's shoulders, so he could cup his face in his hands.

 

''You'll be fine alright ? Just hold on for a few minutes okay ?'' said Magnus,

 

And Alec, frowning in confusion, and probably in worry, nodded silently. But he was biting his lower lip so he wouldn't scream from pain.

 

Next to them, Catherina was still working with her magic to heal Alec's wound. Her magic was surrounding Alec's chest, and her forehead scrunched from worry and concentration. Magnus could see how tiring this was to her, she was a wonderful healer but every warlock has their limits.

 

But before he could say anything, Alec arched his back again, but this time he yelled in pain. And before Magnus could comforts him, Alec coughed and the next second, blood was coming out from his mouth,

 

''Alec !'' yelled Magnus in panic,

 

''What's happening ?!!'' asked Magnus to Catherina, desesperate and scared. Without giving her time to answer, Magnus spoke again,

 

''Catherina do something please !'' begged Magnus, looking at her with wide and pleading eyes,

 

''I am trying !'' replied Catherina, worried about the sudden change in Alec.

 

Letting her magic flow through Alec's body, she closed her eyes and focused on the wound. She knew that the arrow wasn't that deep but it was taking too long for her to figure out if the arrow touched any arteries.

 

They were losing time, Alec coughing up blood wasn't a good sign. Magnus was worried sick, and Alec was obviously in a lot of pain. She needed to do something now. Taking a long and deep breath, Catherina hold her hands out with more determination, and moved them around on top of Alec's chest.

Calling out to her magic, with every strengh she had, she let it envelope Alec's chest and she pushed her magic into Alec's body.

 

She could hear Magnus sweet comforting words that he was whispering to Alec, as well as Alec's suffered breaths and pained groans.

 

She let her magic flew through Alec's body, following the arrow, and finally reaching the arrowhead. But she felt something wrong. Focusing again, she concentrated about how much the arrow was deep.

 

A few seconds later, after her magic inspected how much the arrowhead was inside Alec's chest, she came to this conclusion.

 

The arrow hit an artery.

 

The arrow isn't going to be easy to pull it out.

 

She needs help, she needs more magic, and immediately.

 

Opening her eyes, she saw Magnus cleaning away the blood that came out from Alec's mouth, with tears falling from his eyes. And Alec was still conscious but his eyes half closed, listening to Magnus and nodding silently. Magnus' hand was holding one of Alec's hand and his other hand was caressing Alec's hair.

 

Catherina did heal worse wounds than this at her hospital, where she works. And sometimes, it was easy and sometimes it wasn't. So when she has trouble healing someone at the hospital, she uses natural herbs and concoction.

She also calls Magnus for help, and he used to come to the hospital to help using his own magic, or bringing some of his potions made to help the patients.

 

But today, Magnus can't help. And there was no time for brewing a potion by herself, and that wasn't her speciality.

 

Letting her hands fall down, she turned around to pick some rags and handkerchiefs.

 

''What … Catherina why did you stop ?'' asked Magnus, confused, and scared,

 

Walking around the bed, she came to stand, next to Alec and Magnus, and putting the rags and handkerchiefs on Magnus' lap, she bent down and came face to face to Alec. She moved her hand to Alec's shoulder to help get his attention to her,

 

''Alec, listen to me. I know it's hurting but I need help to heal your wound, I need you to stay still alright ? I will be right back. Can you do this for me ?'' asked sweetly Catherina, making sure that Alec was listening to her.

 

Looking at her with a frown, but a gently smile, Alec nodded. And she turned back, but Magnus stood up at the same time and came face to face with her.

 

''Catherina where are you going ? Tell me what's wrong ! Please … Cat...'' whispered Magnus brokenly, his eyes full of pain and sadness.

 

Her heart broke for Magnus, and for Alec. She can't stand them being in pain. Especially Magnus, her friend who was here whenever she needed, helping her whenever she asked.

She won't let anything happpen to Alec.

 

''Magnus ..'' started Catherina, but they were too close to Alec, and she didn't want to worry him. So grabbing Magnus by the arm, she walk away a bit so they would be a little away from Alec's bed.

 

''What is it Cat ? You're worrying me'' said Magnus,

 

''Magnus … the arrow hit an artery, that's why he is coughing up blood'' said Catherina, biting her lip, worried how it might affect Magnus.

 

As expected, Magnus' face changed, panic was remplaced by terror and before he could think worse things, she hurried to comfort him,

 

''But I can take it out without doing any damage alright ? I promise Magnus, Alec will be fine. The wound is not that deep, luckily for Alec. I just need … more magic. I can't heal the interior wound and take the arrow at the same time. And the arrow need to be taken out carefully and slowly, because if I take it out quickly without magic, it will cut his artery even more. So I can't do that. But with someone else's magic, it might help. Trust me Magnus, Alec will be fine.''

 

''But … where are you going ? And … what am I supposed to do while you're gone ? He is losing blood and I can't stop it I-''

 

''Of course you can help Magnus'' said Catherina, using her hand to caress Magnus' forearm,

 

''Use the handkerchiefs I gave you to clean the wound, and if Alec cought up more blood, use the rags to clean it away okay ? Just keep him awake, and tell him not to move, I will be back soon.''

 

''But where are you going ? And who-''

 

''I just need to pick up something from my room okay ? I will be back in a few minutes.'' said Catherina, and not waiting for Magnus' reply, she smiled at him, and walked towards the bedroom door, she got out of the room, closed the door behind her, and taking a deep breath, she made her way towards Madzie's bedroom.

 

 

Knocking two times, then three times, on Madzie's bedroom's door, she waited for her to open the door.

 

Since she started to take care of Madzie, she created some rules to keep her safe. And she made sure that Madzie respected them.

Even if Valentine was gone, he still had followers who where still loyal to him and to his cause. And if any of them, decided to come after Madzie, she needed to be protected.

 

She made Madzie understand that, even if it's her own bedroom, to not to open the door without making sure that it was Catherina and no one else.

 

She is a child and she was used. Now, it's Catherina's turn to take care of her and love her the way she deserved to be loved.

 

Madzie opened the door, and Catherina's mind came back to reality.

 

Before portaling to Alec and Magnus to help them, she told Madzie that she needed to help some friends and that she would be back shortly. She told her to go to her room and play, and to not to get out of her room until she cames back.

 

She didn't tell her about Alec being hurt because she didn't want to worry her. Madzie cared deeply about Alec, and Magnus. They both made her comfortable with who she was, and her powers.

 

And she loves them. She is always so happy when Catherina sometimes mentions that she would see Alec and Magnus soon. Somehow, along the way, they all became family.

 

When she came back at her place, with Alec and Magnus, she made sure that she wouldn't hear or know what was happening, so she put a silencing spell around the room they all were in.

 

 

''You're back !'' said Madzie with a big smile, and hugged Catherina, holding her by the waist with her little arms.

 

''Hey Madzie'' greeted her Catherina, with a tight smile. Pulling back, Madzie frowned, and looked at Catherina tilting her head to the side,

 

''You're sad. Why ?''

 

''Hum … Madzie listen …'' started Catherina, crouching down in front of her,

 

''Alec is-''

 

''His uncle Alec here ?? Can I see him ? Please please please'' asked Madzie, jumping on her feet with excitement and hapiness, which made Catherina's heart hurt a little bit.

 

''Madzie, I need you to listen to me very carefully okay ?''

 

''Okay'' said Madzie, looking at her in all seriousness,

 

''Do you remember that time, when we were playing at the park and a boy was hurt because he fell ? And you wanted to heal him so I combined our magic to show you how it's done. I linked our magic together and I used your magic to heal him ? We shared our strength. Do you remember ?'' asked Catherina, softly, holding Madzie with her arms.

 

''Yes ! It was wonderful ! The boy lost all his injuries in a second. You said my magic did an amazing job !'' said Madzie, smiling proudly,

 

''Yes, yes it did my dear'' said Catherina with a smile of her own,

 

''I need your help Madzie, I need you to share your magic with me this time, but I need you to listen to me and let my magic guide you, so I can help … so I can help Alec'' said Catherina, knowing that it was unfair to put this responsability and this weight on a child …

 

''Alec ?'' whispered Madzie, her eyes wide and full of worry,

 

''Yes sweetheart, Alec is hurt, and he is in the guest room, but Magnus can't help because he... is having some problem with his magic so … you're the only one who can help because there is no time for me to go and ask for other warlocks and I know it might be hard to watch Alec hurting in this state and-''

 

''I will do it'' interrupted Madzie, with a small smile, looking at Catherina with soft eyes,

 

''Madzie...'' sighed Catherina, dropping her shoulders, ''I am so sorry I am putting you through this''

 

''Alec is my friend. I want to help. Take me there. Now.'' replied Madzie, looking at her straight into her eyes, with determination,

 

''I want you to be sure okay ?''

 

''I want to help heal Alec, he helped me too. He saved my life, I want to save him too.'' answered Madzie, with a smile, nodding her head,

 

Catherina felt awful, to put Madzie in a situation where she would have to watch Alec hurt and suffering … It was true that Madzie helped her heal people using magic by herself, and letting Catherina use her magic by linking their magic together. But this time it was different... It was Alec and Madzie cares so much about him...

 

''Cat'' said Madzie, taking her hand, ''It's okay. I have helped you heal a lot of people before remember ? I can do this. If I help Alec, he will be safe right ?''

 

''Of course darling. I just need you to take the arrow out so I can heal-''

 

''Alec is hurt by an arrow ?! We have to go now !'' said Madzie, walking out of the room to the guest room, taking Catherina by her hand, but before they reached the room, Catherina stopped her,

 

''Madzie. Are you 100% sure ? Alec is in a pretty bad shape, I-''

 

''I can handle it'' said Madzie with a firm voice, then looking down, she whispered,

 

''I don't want to lose Uncle Alec, I wanna help''

 

''Oh sweetie, nothing is going to happen to Alec, he is going to be fine. We will heal him okay ?'' said Catherina, caressing one of Madzie's cheek with her hand.

 

Then, walking in front of the door of the guest room, Catherina paused and took a deep breath, and looked back at Madzie.

 

Madzie looked back at her, and nodded her head in determination.

 

Opening the door, Catherina stepped inside, Madzie behind her.

 

Magnus was still talking to Alec, and Alec, thankfully, was still awake. Magnus was holding Alec's uninjured hand, and caressing Alec's hair softly,

 

''Magnus'' called out Catherina, making him turn around quickly. When he saw Madzie, he got up quickly and put himself between Madzie and the bed where Alec was laying so Madzie wouldn't see him.

 

''Cat what are you doing ? Why did you brought Madzie here ?! She can't see Alec like this, she-''

 

Before Catherina could say anything, Madzie interrupted him,

 

''Magnus'' said Madzie, smiling at him with a soft smile, and taking his hands with one of her hands,

 

''I can heal him'' simply said Madzie,

 

''What are-''

 

''Magnus'' interrupted Catherina this time, ''Madzie can share her magic with me and I can guide her so she can take out the arrow, while I heal the internal bleeding and the extorior wound''

 

''But she is just a kid !'' hissed Magnus, quietly,

 

''I want to do this'' said Madzie,

 

''Sweetpea …'' tried Magnus, to change her mind, but Madzie interrupted him again,

 

''Let me help. Please.''

 

Sighing in defeat, Magnus looked down at Madzie and holding her by the shoulders, he asked,

 

''Are you sure ?'' asked Magnus,

 

''Yes'' said Madzie, nodding at him, with a serious expression. Then sighing, Magnus nodded, and made his way back to Alec,

 

''What's … going on ?'' asked Alec, through gritted teeth,

 

''You... hum...'' started Magnus but couldn't find the words to express himself,

 

''Alec'' said Madzie, coming next to the bed, and standing next to Alec.

 

As soon, as Alec saw Magnus, he opened his eyes wide, and looked at Catherina and Magnus with confusion,

 

''What … she doing here ?! Can't see me … like this.''

 

''Alec, Madzie is gonna help me heal you alright ? Don't worry, we will take the arrow out and heal the internal wound, and everything will be fine'' said Catherina, but Alec was already shaking his head left and right to show that he wasn't agreeing with this idea.

 

''Alec'' called out Madzie again, and this time, Alec turned his head so she could look at her,

 

''Madzie'' whispered Alec,

 

''I can help Alec'' said Madzie, with her soft eyes and voice, but Alec closed his eyes, clearly uncomfortable with the thought of putting Madzie in a situation where she would have to see him hurt and in pain.

 

''I help Catherina heal other people before. I can help. Let me help'' said Madzie, in determination, looking at Alec, with pleading eyes,

 

''Please ?''

 

''Alec, I promise Madzie won't be hurt, we are just going to share our powers, that's all'' tried Catherina, to convince Alec,

 

Licking his lips, Alec looked at Madzie, tired, and still in pain,

 

''Are you absolutely … sure ? You don't … have to do this... if you … don't want to''

 

''Yes uncle Alec. I want to save you'' said Madzie, with a smile, then smiled brighter when Alec nodded with a smile of his own.

 

''Alright Madzie, come on this side of the bed'' called Catherina, and Madzie quickly joined her, while running around the bed,

 

''Magnus I need you to hold Alec as usual, the pain will be a little too much. So do not let him pass out, keep talking to him. And hold him still.'' instructed Catherina to Magnus.

 

Magnus nodded, and sat down on the bed in front of Alec.

 

''Hold on for a little longer okay ? Everything will be fine soon darling. Just stay awake and don't move okay ?''

 

''Okay … Will you stay close ?'' asked Alec, quietly, looking at Magnus with pleading eyes,

 

''Of course sweetheart'' said Magnus immediately, ''I am not going anywhere'' added Magnus, looking back at Alec,

 

''Alright, Madzie'' started Catherina, crouching down in front of her, '' I need you to be very careful okay ? When we will share our power, I need you to focus on the arrow alright ? You need it to take it out very sowly and very carefully so I can heal Alec's interior and exterior wound at the same time. Alright sweety ? Can you do that ? Just take the arrow out very slowly with your magic okay ?''

 

''Okay'' answered Madzie, ''I understand''

 

''Alright, give me your hand sweety'' said Catherina, holding out her hand to Madzie, and in return Madzie put her hand on hers and looked at Alec, focusing on her magic.

 

''Do not fight my magic Madzie okay ? Let it guide you like all the other times it did, okay ?''

 

''Okay '' replied Madzie.

 

Still standing on both of her knees, in front of Alec. Catherina closed her eyes and called out to her magic. And also to Madzie's. Madzie easily let her take control of her magic so she could combine them.

As soon as she felt Madzie's magic, she used her own magic to guide her through the removal of the arrow, while she focused on healing the wounded arthery.

She felt Madzie's magic mixing with hers, she pushed Madie's magic toward the arrow so that Madzie could focus on that. On her side, she used her magic to focuse on the artery which was bleeding.

 

She felt Madzie's magic acting, and moving around the arrow, and she felt the arrow move. She felt the arrowhead being taken out, slowly.

 

She heard Alec's distaint screams of pain, and Magnus' reassuring and soothing words.

 

She concentrated on her magic and let Madzie do her work. She felt the arrow head leaving the artery and as soon as the arrowhead was removed completely, she pushed her magic toward the bleeding artery so she could stop the internal bleeding and heal the wound.

 

After this was done, she opened her eyes, to see Magnus softly talking to Alec, and to see Madzie performing a healing spell on Alec's exterior wound. After Madzie was done, she looked at Catherina then back to Alec, frowning in worry.

 

''Did it work ?'' asked Madzie, while whispering,

 

''Yes it did sweetpea'' said Catherina proudly, ''that was wonderful, you did a great job''.

 

Then moving her hands in front of Alec's chest, she used her magic to magically wrap the wound with some bandages.

 

''Alexander'' called out Magnus, his heart filling with happiness and relief,

 

''Mmmh ?''

 

''How are you feeling ?''

 

''Hum … good. Doesn't hurt anymore'' answered Alec, but his eyes were already closing,

 

''He is tired'' said Catherina, ''Let him rest''

 

''Thank you'' said Alec, fighting to stay awake, but he was looking at both Catherina, and Madzie.

 

''Rest Alec'' said Catherina, smiling down at him. But then frowning she said,

 

''Go to sleep, I will heal your broken hand, you won't feel the pain''

 

Then Alec looked back at Magnus, and with a tired smile said,

 

''Told you I won't go anywhere''

 

''I know, I know'' replied Magnus chuckling, now tears falling from his eyes, because of the panic he felt and the relief he is feeling now.

 

''Don't cry'' said Alec with a frown,

 

''I won't, I am not'' replied Magnus, cleaning away his tears with the sleeve of his coat, and smiling at Alec.

 

''I love you'' whispered Alec, falling back into unconsciousness,

 

''I love you too darling'' said back Magnus, swallowing the lump in his throat, but smiling down at Alec.

 

''Your magic … I'll get it back'' finally said Alec, but before Magnus could protest, Alec has fallen asleep due to the fatigue.

 

Then, sighing, and looking up at Catherina and Madzie, he got up from the bed, walked towards them, and hugged Catherina with all his strength.

 

''Thank you so much Cat'' whispered Magnus,

 

''You never have to thank me for stuffs like that'' said Catherina, hugging him back,

 

''He is good friend of mine now''.

 

Pulling back from her embrace, Magnus smiled at her, and looking down, he saw Madzie looking up at him.

 

Bending down, he grabbed Madzie and brought to his level, to hug her, and she hugged back.

 

''Thank you so much Madzie'' said Magnus, kissing the top of her head,

 

''You're welcome'' replied Madzie, shyly hiding her face,

 

''I am so proud of you'' said Magnus, making Madzie smile.

 

Catherina rounded the bed, and stood next to Alec, at the side of the bed where Alec's hand was reachable.

 

''Is his hand okay ?'' asked Magnus, worried, still carrying Madzie.

 

''I can heal him but … I think it's gonna take a few days or … weaks to heal. The muscles are in a little bad shape, but with time and some concoctions, he will be fine'' answered Catherina, looking at Magnus with a smile.

 

She used a healing spell to heal Alec's broken hand, and she wrapped his hand with her magic, and sighed.

 

''You're exhausted'' said Magnus. ''And so are you'' said Magnus, looking down at Madzie, who, now had her head on Magnus' shoulder, and was half asleep.

 

''You go and rest'' said Magnus,

 

''But we have to talk about your-''

 

''We will talk about it later okay ? I promise'' interrupted Magnus, ''Now go and sleep, you need it. I will take care of her'' said Magnus, looking at Madzie with a soft smile.

 

''Alright'' said Catherina, looking at Magnus and the little girl with a tired smile.

 

''Wake me up as soon as he wakes up, okay ? I will need to check his bandages again.''

 

''I promise'' said Magnus nodding to her.

 

Then, kissing the top of Madzie's head and patting Magnus' forearm, Catherina walked out of the guest room, leaving Magnus and Madzie.

 

Taking a deep breath, Magnus went to stand next to the bed, and put Madzie on the bed, next to Alec, so she could sleep peacefully.

 

Looking at them, with a soft smile, Magnus sat on the chair placed next to the bed, and was left alone with his thoughts.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 3, sorry for the delay ... 
> 
> Enjoy ^^ 
> 
> Point out mistakes if you see some ! English is not my native language ^^'

Sitting next to the bed where Alexander and Madzie were peacefully sleeping, Magnus thought about everything that happened to him, in these past few hours.

 

He lost his magic, he nearly lost Alexander …

He had to watch the love of his life go through all this pain, without being able to ease it or heal his wounds.

 

If there was anything he always trusted to have his back, it was his magic.

It was there, even if it was unwelcomed at first, in his early years of childhood.

Even if it was for killing his step-father, it saved him.

 

It always did.

Coming to his help, whenever he needed it, flying through his fingers, with purple, blue or red sparkles, and saving his life, putting down his ennemies.

 

Magic is … was vital to Magnus. It was the only constant thing in his life, which was always with him …

Reminding him, that he would never be alone. That if he ever ended up in a situation where anyone let him down, he could count on his magic to have his back.

Magic was like a second skin for him, it was another part of him. That power which envelopped him, surrounding him, whenever it was being used … that feeling of being whole … safe.

 

And now, all he was feeling was … desolation.

 

Magnus grew up thinking, and accepting his magic as a part of himself, even if he had a hard time doing it at first.

 

His magic wasn't important just because it was useful and helpful to him only, but also because other people depended on it.

People depended on him, because they knew that he was able to fix their problems, that he could help their life to be a better life, that he could solve their broken heart...

His magic was a remedy.

 

His magic helped people, eased their pain and suffering... But most importantly, it made other people trust him.

People trusted him because he was Magnus Bane, the most powerful warlock.

His magic helped him grow up, it learned him things, it was there in every step of his life, during bad and good moments …

 

During all those centuries of living as an immortal, there wasn't a day when he didn't use his magic.

 

And now he was supposed to live without it ? How was he gonna do that ?

 

Not that, he was regretting his choice. He didn't.

He wouldn't.

Anything was better than to have to watch Alexander sacrifice a part of himself... Anything was better than that. But it didn't mean that he was happy with that choice.

 

 

But letting go of that part of himself that he was so used to … it was hard. It's going to be hard. He spend his whole life using his magic helping everyone and now he was feeling … naked.

Empty.

A whole hole as taken place inside of his heart, his soul, his existence.

He felt like he has been stripped off of his identity. Which was kind of true. He identified himself with his power, his magic, his title...

 

He lost his status as the High Warlock of Brooklyn just a few weeks ago and now … his magic.

Both of those things that were present during is entire immortal life.

 

Was he even immortal now ? Without his magic and his power ?

 

God … Why did he suddently feel like he was suffocating ?

 

Taking a deep breath, Magnus put his head in hands, closed his eyes, and stayed still for a few minutes.

 

Then a few seconds later, Catherina entered the room.

 

''Cat ? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be sleeping and resting'' said Magnus, looking at his friend's tired face. Cataerina smiled and came to stand next to Magnus, and looking down at him, she said,

 

''I know. But I couldn't sleep, I am worried''

 

''Worried about what ? Alec is fine, he is healing, Jace is not posessed anymore, and hopefully Lilith will be out of the picture soon and-''

 

''Magnus'' interrupted Catarina, looking at him with her 'don't give me this crap' look, with her eyebrows raised.

 

Biting his lower lip and looking down at his feet,

 

''I am fine'' simply said Magnus,

 

''You don't look fine'' replied back Catarina,

 

''Well, neither do you, so go to sleep'' told Magnus,

 

''Magnus-''

 

''Please Cat, just … go'' said Magnus, looking anywhere but at Catarina.

 

Sighing, Catarina grabbed Magnus by his arm and made him stand,

 

''What-''

 

''Come on, we both need drinks right now''

 

''But they-''

 

''They are both sleeping, and I will know when they will wake up. Now come on'' said Catarina, and pulled Magnus with her out of the room. And Magnus followed her, sighing, knowing that he wouldn't be able to win against her.

 

Getting out of the guest-room, Magnus followed Catherina who was walking into her kitchen. Letting his arm go, Catarina moved around in her kitchen, opened some drawers, took out some glasses and a bottle of wine, and sat on a stool.

 

''Come on'' said Catarina, gesturing to Magnus to come and sit down next to her. Smiling despite his pain and loneliness, Magnus approched Catarina, and sat down on the stool. He leaned on the table, and looked down at his shoes while Catarina prepared them some drinks.

 

When she finished pouring alcohol into their glasses, she put Magnus' in front of him, and silently started to drink hers.

 

''Thank you'' said Magnus, to which Cat smiled softly. Magnus picked up his glass, took a few sips, and grimacing, put down the cup on the table and he looked back at Catarina, who was already staring back at him with a worried expression.

 

''Don't look at me like that'' immediately said Magnus,

 

''Like what ?'' asked Catarina, tilting her head to the side,

 

''Like you're pitying me'' said Magnus, looking at his friend, his lips pressed in a firm line, and a blank look.

 

''Oh Magnus... I am not pitying you, my dear … ' answered Catarina, making Magnus gulp and swallow the lump in his throat,

 

''I am just …'' started Catarina, but paused and looked down, biting her lower lip and shaking her head, dropping her shoulders,

 

''You're what ?'' calmly asked Magnus, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, because of Catarina sudden expression.

 

''I am sorry... This is my fault'' said Catarina, looking at Magnus with glassy eyes,

 

''What ?'' asked Magnus, taken aback by surprise, not expecting this kind of apology from Catarina,

 

''If I didn't advice you to go to Asmodeus for help, none of this would have happened'' replied Catarina, playing with her fingers, her drink long forgotten on the table,

 

''Cat, my dear...'' started Magnus, putting his glass on the table, and taking her hand into his,

 

''Me losing my magic wasn't your fault. You didn't know that would happen''

 

Catarina shook her head, and laughed softly,

 

''I am a terrible friend, here you are, after losing a part of yourself, I am the one who's supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around''

 

''Don't say that. You being here is more than comforting my friend'' said Magnus with a soft, yet sad smile. Catarina smiled back at him, holding his hand back in return, then sighing, she said,

 

''I know that you don't want to talk about it but … I'm here if you need anything okay ?''

 

''I know. It's just that...there is nothing to talk about, I mean …'' started to say Magnus, but he stopped himself,

 

''What is it ?'' gently asked Catarina,

 

''Being back there after all these centuries … it was … weird, like bad weird''

 

''How did he react ? Was he mad ?'' asked Catarina, grimacing, making Magnus snort,

 

''No, actually he was quite happy, he even hugged me'' said Magnus, with a bitter smile, picking up his glass, and drinking the whole thing in one go.

 

''What ?'' asked Catarina with wide eyes, not expecting this answer,

 

''Yep''

 

''And how was that ?'' asked Catarina, finishing her drink too, then picking up the whisky bottle, she filled both of their glasses for a second round.

If they were going to have this conversation, they needed to be drunk.

Magnus picked up his glass, now filled of whisky that Catarina poured into his cup, then he drank the whole liquide.

Taking a few seconds to sallow down the alcohol, he blinked, and frowning, he said,

 

''Awkward''

 

''I bet'' whispered Catarina, not really finding another answer,

 

''He thought I came to apologize'' blurted out Magnus,

 

''What ?''

 

''For banishing him'' whispered Magnus, looking down, somehow feeling sad, and not knowing if it was because he disappointed his Father again, or because he indeed banished him to Edom, centuries ago.

 

''Magnus'' said Catarina, bringing back Magnus to reality.

Smiling and shaking his head to put his thoughts into order, he looked back at Catarina who was looking at him with a little smile.

 

''I know you have questions'' said Magnus,

 

''I do'' simply answered Catarina, ''But I will ask them when I will feel like it's the right time''

 

''I'm sorry, it's just … it's too much and I can't-'' struggling for words, Magnus tried to put his emotions into words, but he was failing remarkably.

 

''Magnus'' interrupted him Catarina, who moved her hand to place it on Magnus' hand, which was resting on the table,

 

''I know you. Take your time, and when you'll be ready to voice out your frustration, anger and pain, I will be right her, at your side'' said Catarina, making Magnus' shoulders drop in relief.

 

'' Thank you Cat'' said Magnus, looking at his friend with a grateful smile. She always knew what he needed, that's why she was a great friend.

 

''Can I say something though ?'' asked Catarina, biting her lip, playing with the empty glass in her palm.

 

''Yeah, go ahead'' replied Magnus, wondering what Catarina wanted to say.

 

''I know that you like to deal with your pain alone. In all those years of being your friend, I know that sometimes you pick the phone and call me when something is wrong, but I know you don't do it often because you think you might bother. But you don't. I have no idea what you are going through right now, and I don't even know how to help, but if you need - I mean if you ever want to talk about something, or go out, or just sit and drink until we get waisted, you know you can come to me, alright ?''

 

Magnus was overwhelmed. He knew that Catarina wouldn't push, and give him time, but hearing her say that she will be here whenever he will need her, warmed his heart with love and gratitude.

 

''I don't know what I'd do without you'' said Magnus, honestly, blinking his eyes, trying to keep his tears inside, not ready to break down in front his friend.

 

''You're welcome'' said Catarina with a smile.

 

A few seconds of comfortable silence passed between them. Magnus was lost in his thoughts, and Catarina kept looking at him the whole time.

 

''Alec will be fine'' said Catarina, guessing about what might be going through her friend's mind, and seeing the surprised look on Magnus' face, she definitely guessed right.

 

''How did you know I was thinking about Alec ?''

 

''Because I know the look you get when you're worried about your shadowhunter'' replied Catarina with a soft smile, making him smile in return. But that smile didn't last long because Magnus looked at Catarina, suddenly, his eyes shining, and his face making showing all the pain, and sadness he was feeling.

 

''He is going to be alright right ? I mean, he is a shadowhunter and the Head of Institute, he works a lot, he hates beeing sat in the same place for more the fifteen minutes, and he loves archery, but now his hand is broken and it's gonna need more than a week to heal and-''

 

''Magnus, Magnus, calm down, hey, it's okay'' interrupted Catarina, feeling like Magnus was going to start panicking again.

Grabbing him by his shoulders, she made him face her,

 

''Magnus, Alec is going to be alright. He just needs some rest'' said Catarina, with conviction, trying to make Magnus understand.

 

Magnus' thoughts were in all places. Deep down, he knew that Alexander would be fine. Catarina was a very good healer, she always managed to heal people from dangerous wounds.

 

But still, he couldn't help but to feel scared and terrified of loosing Alec. Of course, he always knew that Alec won't be here with him forever, but he always thought that they had more time.

But today, seeing Alec in pain and go through a phase, which could have been his last moment on earth, made Magnus realize that he wasn't ready to let go of this love yet.

 

This love, which came into his life, when he wasn't expecting it, taking him by surprise, making him feel special in a way he never felt before … Alexander's love made him feel like he belonged finally to someone. But today, with everything that happened, it made Magnus aware that their time together was indeed limitate.

 

He already lost his title, his magic, he didn't know how he would have lived if he lost Alec today. Thank the Angels, Alec was now safe.

Of course, the wounds were still fresh, especially his injury to his hand.

Even if, he was out of danger, he really hoped that Alec will be able to go back to work, without any trouble.

 

''Magnus''

 

Catarina's voice, brought him back from his thoughts. She was looking at him with a worried expression, and a little smile.

 

''Will there be any side effects ? '' asked Magnus, looking down,

 

''Apart from his hand, which will take only a few weeks to heal, he will be fine. He might feel some minor pain in his chest at the beginning but he will be alright. I promise you.'' answered Catarina.

 

''Are you sure ?'' asked Magnus, frowning and unsure,

 

''Are you questioning my capacity of doing diagnostics for my patients and my experience as a nurse and a healer ?'' replied back Catarina, her eyebrows raised, with a hint of sarcasm, and faking being shocked by bringing her hand to her chest.

 

Chuckling and shaking his head in amusement, Magnus said, ''I would never.''

 

''I trust you, I am just …''

 

''… worried about your dear and precious Alexander'' finished Catherina, smiling a little,

 

''I know.'' simply said Catarina, holding his hand in her own, offering him some comfort.

 

''I know that you're worried about him, but Alec is strong and determined. His injuries weren't that bad, he will be as new as he was before, in a few weeks.''

 

''Thank you Cat, I don't how I would have gone through this without you, if you didn't find me in time, Alec could have-''

 

''There is no point of thinking like because I'm here and Alec is safe.'' said Catarina,

 

Taking a deep breath, Magnus just nodded. Catarina was right, there was no need to worry about what could have happened. Right now, all he needed to focus on, was how he was going to take care of Alec. He didn't have his magic anymore, but Magnus would try everything to help Alec heal.

 

''Yeah … Yeah, alright'' finally said Magnus.

 

''You know, you should be worrying about you right now''

 

''I'm fine'', said Magnus, not ready to talk about what happened to his magic. Looking back at his friend, Magnus saw her look at him in way, that was telling him that she wasn't buying anything he was saying right now.

 

Sighing and shutting his eyes for a few seconds, Magnus admitted,

 

''Alright, I am not fine, but I will be. With time.''

 

'' And I will be there for you. Like always. And so will others, like Isabelle, Raphael, Clary, even Simon.''

 

''Uh no ! Don't tell Simon, I don't want him to monopolize my loft for several months and make me watch all the Star Wars movies _again_ in order to chear me up. Because that will only make me feel _worse,_ not better.'' complained Magnus, begging Catarina with his eyes, making her laugh.

 

''I am sure that you can tell him that by yourself, when he'll be visiting'' said Catarina, smirking and winking at him.

 

'' … Is that your way of making me face my situation even if I don't talk about it with you ?'' asked Magnus, raising his eyebrows,

 

''Maybe'' replied his friend, with a glint in her eyes, making Magnus chuckle lightly.

 

A comfortable silence filled the kitchen, while Magnus and Catarina finished their drinks.

 

''Alright, you go back to Madzie and Alec, I need some sleep.'' said Catarina, putting her empty glass on the table.

 

''Yeah, you go and get some rest, I'll stay with Alexander.'' replied Magnus, drinking his last drop of whiskey, and putting back his glass on the table as well.

 

''Call me if you need anything alright ?'' asked Catarina, getting up from her stool. She grabbed her friend's arm and hold it tight for a moment, offering him some support and comfort.

 

''I will'' answered Magnus, smiling up at his friend.

 

Nodding to Magnus, Catarina let her hand fall back, and hoping that Magnus would be okay alone for a while, got out of the kitchen, leaving him behind.

 

Seeing Catarina leave the kitchen, Magnus sighed and looked up to the ceiling, then he closed his eyes. Thousands of thoughts were running around in his mind, and he couldn't stop them. As much as he wanted to shut his mind, and clear it from all the struggle he was feeling, he couldn't help but to feel helpless.

 

Not wanting to think about the loss of his magic, and how his life has become empty and messy, he got up, and made his way toward the guest-room where Madzie and Alec were resting.

 

Opening, the door of the guest-room, Magnus went inside, and walking next to the bed, he sat down on the chair he was occupying a few minutes ago, at the side of the bed where Madzie was sleeping.

Leaning himself against it, Magnus looked at the occupants of the bed.

 

Madzie was sleeping on her side, one of her arm around Alec's chest, she was snoring a little. The magic and power she used to heal Alec must have really tired her out.

 

Since the moment he met her at the Institute when Valentine attacked the Shadowhunters, Magnus realized how much of a special child she was.

Warlocks children with powerful magic were really rare. And Madzie, at such a younger age, was now being able to control her magic.

Even if she had some difficulties at the beginning, such as Catarina informed him, she quickly learned to chanel and control her magic.

After being controled by Valentine in such an awful way, Madzie was really upset and felt terrified of her own abilities. Catarina had informed him many times that Madzie was, at first, stopped herself from using her magic, by fear of hurting other people.

Catarina had told him that Madzie was convinced that her magic could only hurt people, and not heal or help them, or it couldn't be used to create beautiful things.

It took Magnus and Catarina several weeks to finally explain to Madzie and make her understand that whatever happened to the shadowhunters during Valentine's attack wasn't her fault. It took them multiple days to make Madzie realize that she wasn't being controled by her magic, but that Valentine was controling her, and using her and her power, for his own purpose.

 

After Madzie had overcome the torture she went through, little by little, she started to open up to Catarina and Magnus.

But she especially became close to Alec. Their bonding helped her more than the hours of activities she had with Catarina. She and Alec became more than friends. During the past months, Magnus felt like she had became part of their little family. Every week, she would come to their loft, and spend the whole day with them at their place. Or sometimes, they would take her out to the park, or the playstore. The more time they spend with Madzie, and more Magnus and Alec sarted to feel like she had become a daily presence of their life.

 

Then, Madzie started to become more confident and trustful in her magic and about the way she used her power. Catarina and Madzie often used healing spells to help people. It first started with animals. Sometimes, Catarina would take her outside, and when they found stray dogs or cats, Catarina would guide her to heal them. Then, Madzie started to show interest in healing spells and Catarina started to teach more complex spells.

A few weeks earlier, Madzie had started to use her magic to heal people, especially mundanes. Catarina had told him that her magic did wonders when she used it to heal people. And Magnus didn't even doubt her. It was obvious that Madzie would reach high with her abilities. She was smart, clever, kind and generous. She had everything to become a powerful warlock and a wonderful healer.

 

Magnus was first worried when Madzie entered the guest-room while Alec was struggling with his pain. He thought that Madzie would panic when she would see Alec in this state, but instead of loosing her control, she faced him with determination and healed Alexander while Catarina had guided her through the process.

The truth is that, that child had gone through so much more than she must have at this young age. She went through such horror and terrifying experience and she came out stronger and more determined to help other people.

 

Looking at her now, where she was sleeping, Magnus coudn't help but to feel immensely proud. And also extremely grateful for her being part of his life now. After she made her way into their hearts, Magnus, but also Alec and Catarina, became very protective of her, and also very much happier. But they also cared about their warlock child in a way they never cared about anyone before.

Magnus was always close to children, but he felt more connected to Madzie than he ever did with any other child.

Either way, Madzie had become his family, Alec's and Magnus' family.

 

Suddenly, Alec moved, and grimacing in pain, he started to shake his head into his pillow. Magnus got up, then walked around the bed, and came to sit down next to Alec. He reached out with one of his hands, and caressed Alec's cheek with his thumb.

Smiling to himself, Magnus kept looking at Alec's face. He was sleeping peacefully, his face free of the usual wrinkles he had whenever he was thinking too much and worrying about things. Magnus always admired Alec while he was sleeping. Alec always looked like a literal angel when he was sleeping. Magnus always wanted to see him like this ; free of stress, worries and problems.

 

''Magnus ?''

 

Magnus looked up to see Alec already staring back at him. He was wearing a tired smile, and his eyes were a little read due to exhaustion and probably also because of pain.

His face was a little pale, clearly showing that Alec needed more rest.

 

''Alexander'' whispered Magnus, getting a little closer to him, and holding Alec's face between his hands. Caressing his cheek with his thumb, Magnus smiled at him, relieved and glad that Alec was now out of danger.

 

''You're here'' murmured Alec, smiling at the same time, and looking back at Magnus with his tired eyes. Alec moved his left hand, and grabbed Magnus' and hold it in his.

 

''Of course I'm here, where else would I be ?'' said Magnus, chuckling,

 

Swallowing, and closing his eyes for a few seconds, Alec moved his head, and saw Madzie sleeping next to him, while holding him by the waist.

 

''I can take her to her room if she's bothering-''

 

''No, no, she is not. Let her be'' said Alec, smiling down at her, moving his arm to embrace her and hugging her close.

 

''Is she okay ?'' asked Alec, looking back at Magnus, his face showing worry and concern.

 

''Did using magic weakeaned her ? Is she- ?'' asked Alec, starting to turn on his side to face Madzie to check on her, but Magnus stopped him by holding his forearm.

 

''Alexander, Madzie is fine. She is just a little tired. She will be fine after a few hours of sleep.'' reassured Magnus.

 

''Are you sure ?'' asked Alec, frowning,

 

''Yes, don't worry. Catarina looked over her and she said she just needed a little rest. Now, let's worry about you at the moment, alright ?''

 

''Are you okay ?'' asked Alec this time, bringing up his hand, to hold Magnus' face, but Magnus brought his hand up and hold Alec's in his.

 

''I'm fine'' simply answered Magnus, trying not to worry Alec too much.

 

''You know I know when you're not alright, right ?'' asked Alec, smiling up at him.

 

Sighing, Magnus wondered how did he get this lucky to have found Alexander in his life. Since the day they met, Alec always found a way to read past his fake smiles and whenever he pretended to be alright. He always knew when something was wrong and when something bothered him.

Alec always took care of him during his lowest moments. Especially when he was debating with himself about things that upseted him. He was a good listener, and he always had the right words which reached Magnus' heart, and enveloped his core with warmness.

 

''How do you do that ?'' asked Magnus, giving up, realizing that he couldn't hide his problems and emotions from Alec, he never could, and deep down, he didn't even want to do it.

 

''Because I know you'' replied Alec, looking at him with fondness and love, but with a little bit of sadness too.

 

''Talk to me Magnus, please ?'' asked Alec, begging him with his eyes, and holding Magnus' hand tight, with his own.

 

''There is nothing to-'' started Magnus but seeing the look Alec was giving him as soon as he started to speak, he decided to be honest.

 

''Alright fine, I am not okay, and there is … a lot going on right now, and I can't- I don't know how to deal with this because … because it never happened to me before.'' answered Magnus, looking down at their joined fingers, and gently stroking Alec's fingers with his own.

 

''What happened ?'' asked Alec, biting his lips, anticipating a ''I don't want to talk about it'' but Alec saw Magnus was struggling, wondering if he should bother Alec with his problems, because Magnus had always been like this.

 

He never wanted to trouble others and make them feel obligated to comfort him. With time, Alec learned that Magnus didn't trust much people when it came to sharing his worries. With Catarina and Raphael, it must be easy because they knew each other since the beginning of time. But Alec just came into Magnus' life. And Alec wanted Magnus to tell him about what was bothering him, he wanted him to feel comfortable about sharing his problems with him. Alec wanted Magnus to trust him when it comes to supporting each other whenever they needed it. Alec knew that Magnus didn't want to burden him, but it has never been a burden for Alec to listen to Magnus and to offer him his time.

Alec already broke Magnus' trust once, by hiding from him informations about the Soul Sword, but that day, he promised himself that he would never do it again. Alec wanted Magnus to be able to open himself to him. He wanted Magnus to know that he could trust him.

 

And Magnus wanted the same. In fact, Magnus did trust Alec, with everything. But the centuries of his existence, experiences and broken hearts, showed Magnus that he was, somehow, to some people, a lot to deal with. Of course, Alec never stopped reminding him that the people who made Magnus feel like this, were wrong, but Magnus still had some difficulties to realize it, and to accept it.

 

But with Alec … With Alexander, everything seemed easier. Whether it was about sharing his life with him, or his concerns. Magnus knew that Alec was thrustworthy, there was no doubt about that. He knew that Alec would do his possible to reassure him and to make him feel better. He always did. But there was always a limit about how much a person could handle another person's problem. And Magnus worried that, losing something as important as his magic, and having to live with it, while being with Alec, would make Alec realize that Magnus wasn't the same anymore.

That's why Magnus didn't want to talk about this to Alec.

Because he was scared.

 

Moreover, it didn't mean that Magnus doesn't want someone to be there for him, to show him their full support, to be with him during his lowest moment. Because this, this moment, would definetely be the worst moment of his life. And he definitely, didn't want to go through this alone. Sure, he had Catarina and Raphael. But he also wanted Alexander's support. Deep down, in his heart, for centuries, he had dreamed of having someone whom he could trust blindly, because he would know that the person loved him as much as he would. And Alec did love him, with his whole heart and soul.

But there was still this fear of disappointing him, of not being good enough. This had always been Magnus' weakness. Worrying that he would be too much to handle.

 

Being with Alexander had thaught him that, if Alexander was with him, he could survive anything. But, how was he going to survive this ? After losing a part of himself, more like his whole being, how was he supposed to survive this ? What if Alec came to realize that he wasn't the same Magnus he loved before ? What if Alec realized that Magnus is nothing but a shadow without his magic ? How was Alec supposed to love him after Magnus lost what made him a person ?

 

Hundreds and hundreds of questions were going through Magnus' mind during the past minutes, and he didn't even realize that he didn't answer Alec's question, and that he also closed his eyes, shutting them with force, hoping that his mind would stop these questions which were spiraling in his mind.

 

He didn't realize how worried Alec was looking at him.

 

Alec had no idea what was going on in Magnus' mind, but he was sure that it wasn't anything good. Truth to be told, Alec was worried about how this whole new thing was going to impact Magnus' life. Because Magnus was right, this never happened to him before, and Alec had no clue how to deal with this situation either.

He didn't know how to comfort Magnus in this difficult time, because he simply didn't have the words for it.

But he was sure of one thing. He would fix this. He promised to himself that he would. Because, for Magnus, to lose his magic, was a hundred time worse than Alec losing his parabatai... Jace was only a part of Alec and the other was Magnus.

But for Magnus, magic meant everything to him. It had been part of his life for centuries, and now it was gone, just like that. Because of Alec. Because Magnus didn't want Alec to lose a part of himself, so Magnus sacrificed what meant everything to him.

And that … that made Alec feel even worse, because if it wasn't for him, Magnus would still have his magic.

 

He would'nt be this lost, stripped away from something that had been with him during his entire life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is already written and will be posted next week ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter ^^

''I am sorry Magnus'' whispered Alec, not knowing what else to say, since Magnus didn't answer his question.

 

Alec's apology brought Magnus back to reality, and he opened his eyes again to see Alec's closed, then, he saw a single tear roll down on his cheek.

Immediately, Magnus moved his hand to Alec's face and using his thumb, he wipped away his tear.

 

''Alexander … you have nothing to apologize for.'' said Magnus, saddened by the fact that Alec was blaming himself for what happened to him.

 

''If it wasn't for me, you'd still-''

 

''You don't know that.. please... don't hold yourself responsible for what happened with my magic. I am the one who made the choice. And I don't regret it.'' said Magnus.

 

At that, Alec looked up at Magnus, and smiled sadly,

 

''You should though''

 

''I won't'' simply said Magnus, ''Because I'd give up my magic in a second instead of watching you lose someone as important as your parabatai''

 

Swallowing his lump that rose in his throat, Alec said,

 

''You're important to me too Magnus''

 

''I know'' said Magnus, smiling sadly, ''I know Alec. But I'm not going anywhere, I am here, you're here, we're fine.''

 

''Are we ? I mean … You're not fine''

 

''But-''

 

''- and if you're not fine, I am not fine either'' insisted Alec, making Magnus chuckle,

 

''Don't use my words against me, it's not fair''

 

''I am just telling the truth'' merely said Alec, shrugging.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Alec asked again,

 

''Magnus … What happened ?''

 

Sighing, and not wanting to let Alec get even more worried, Magnus told him everything.

 

''My father happened.''

 

''What do you mean ?''

 

''He … asked for my magic, in exchange of the power he would give me to break Lilith's hold she had on Jace. And I couldn't say no. Because … it was the only way.'' said Magnus.

 

''Did he … do anything else ?'' asked Alec, worried.

 

''He hugged me. Which was something I wasn't expecting''

 

''Oh …Magnus I am so-''

 

''Alec. Stop apologizing. It wasn't your fault. Asmodeus offered me the deal, and I am the one who accepted it. There is no one to blame here. If you want to blame someone, blame Lilith, or Jonathan even.''

 

''What is he going to do with your magic, now that he has it in his posession ?'' asked Alec,

 

''Probably nothing good. Asmodeus is clever, there is always something behind his every single actions. But … that is something we should worry about later.'' answered Magnus.

 

''And … how are you feeling ?'' asked Alec, biting his lip,

 

''Uh … I...''

 

Stuggling for words, Magnus didn't how to answer Alec's question. Because whatever he was feeling, there were no words for it. It was a crushing, tormenting feeling, and he felt like he has been drained of his life's strenght.

 

''I feel like … there is a hole in my chest that I can ever refill again.'' answered Magnus, closing his eyes.

 

Magnus' words affected Alec more than he wished to admit. Alec never saw Magnus like this. He felt completely … drained.

 

Holding Magnus' hand with all his strenght, he said,

 

''I promise you, we'll get it back.''

 

''Alec-''

 

''No. Listen to me. Do you trust me ?'' asked Alec, looking at Magnus straight in his eyes,

 

''Of course I do Alexander, but this is - '' started Magnus, shaking his head,

 

''Then listen to me. Believe, I promise we'll get it back. I will get it back to you. I swear, I will find a way'' affirmed Alec, looking determined and tenacious.

 

Heart-warmed by Alec's promise, and affected by how supportive Alec was being, Magnus moved away his hand from Alec's hold, and hold Alec's face in his hands.

 

''Thank you'' only said Magnus, with teary eyes, swallowing down a sob.

 

''I haven't done anything yet'' said Alec, bringing his hand up to hold Magnus'.

 

'' You're already doing enough. You … you being here, being supportive, is all that I can ask for during this time.''

 

''I will always support you. I promise.'' reassured Alec, making Magnus sniffle a lit.

 

''But Alec, going after Asmodeus is really dangerous and-''

 

''We will plan everything okay ? We can have some of the shadowhunters' and warlocks' help, and we will figure it out.''

 

''No one would go against-''

 

''Magnus.'' interrupted Alec, ''I know you're scared. I am too. But Asmodeus took away your magic, and I am not just going to let him get away with it. And I know you're worried about me, but we will deal with this together alright ? We'll find a way.''

 

Seeing that Alec wouldn't listen to what he was saying, Magnus let it go. This would be another conversation for later.

 

''Alright, but right now, you should be worried about yourself. You almost died Alexander and-''

 

''Magnus I'm fine.''

 

''And there was so much blood, I couldn't do anything, I never felt so useless-'' started to rant Magnus, but Alec interrupted him.

 

''Magnus, you're not useless ! And I'm alright now okay ? I'm healing, a few days of rest and I will be back on my feet very soon. You'll see.''

 

''You really scared me'' said Magnus, looking down, and moving his hand to Alec's chest, and putting it on the bandages.

 

''I am sorry … But like you said, you're here and I am here, we are … we will be fine'' said Alec, smiling at him.

 

''Never do that again'' said Magnus, feeling his heavy heart in his chest, ''I thought you were going to … I thought -''

 

''Magnus.'' said Alec, making Magnus look up at him,

 

''You can't get ride of me this easily'' said Alec, smirking, and making Magnus laugh a little,

 

''Of course not'' said Magnus,

 

''How are you actually ? Does it still hurt ? Do you feel any-''

 

''Just a little tired, and yeah I'm feeling a little bit of pain, but it's nothing, just the part of the healing process. It will be fine'' said Alec.

 

''You know … when Catharina was healing you... something you said came back to my mind.'' said Magnus.

 

''What ?'' questionned Alec, frowning,

 

''When we had the fight, about my memories box, you said ''If I am lucky, one of my arrowhead will end up in that box'' '' said Magnus, chuckling, a few tears falling down from his eyes, ending up on one of Alec's hand which was holding Magnus'.

 

''Magnus …'' whispered Alec, swallowing, and blaming himself for ever saying that in a burst of anger, and sadness, back that day.

 

''I didn't mean it, I was just … angry. I - ''

 

''I know, it just … seeing you like that, bleeding on the floor, with an arrow stuck to your chest, it was … terrifying.'' said Magnus, his mind going back to the moment he found Alec on the floor, the panic he was feeling when he realized that he couldn't heal Alec because of his deal he made with Asmodeus.

 

''Magnus'' called Alec, '' I am sorry I worried you'' said Alec, caressing Magnus' hand with his thumb. ''I am okay now''.

 

''It made me realizing something'' said Magnus, not paying attention to what Alec said, almost talkinh to himself.

 

Alec was looking at Magnus with sadness. He knew that seeing him, at the verge of dying didn't do any good to Magnus, and added more worries to him than he needed. And he needed to let his thoughts out. So Alec let him speak.

 

''I …'' started Magnus, but interrupted himself, struggling for words, not knowing how he could describe what he felt that moment. Apart from losing his magic, he couldn't have handle to lose Alec too.

 

''If something had happened to you …'' said Magnus, closing his eyes, letting his tears fall,

 

''I don't know what I would have done''

 

''Magnus …'' started Alec, fearing what was coming next. Alec knew that Magnus loved him in a way he never did before, and he made sure that Alec knows it. And Alec did. With time, Alec also realized that he was very special to Magnus, because Magnus always reminded him, in many ways, that he loved him in a way that he was never loved before.

So Alec knew how losing him would impact Magnus. He also knew how Magnus was scared everytime Alec would go to a mission involving demons and monsters. Because there was a possibility that Alec wouldn't be coming back.

 

He knew that …

 

''I can't live without you''

 

… Magnus couldn't live without him. And Alec couldn't live without Magnus either. But both of those things were different. Because, concerning Alec, it was about living without Magnus if something bad happened to him. And if it happened, Alec would have to live years without Magnus, waiting for his own time to come.

But for Magnus, living without Alec, would mean that he had to live without him during centuries, because of his immortality. Magnus would have to deal with his loss first, overcoming the feeling of grief and pain, of living without Alec's presence anymore. It would be about surviving every past memories that tied him to Alec. Going through everyday knowing that he would never see Alec again.

And that, for Alec, is the same as being tortured, literally, or even worse !

 

Because Alec knew that if he was in Magnus' place, he wouldn't be able to survive a loss like this. And maybe, Magnus wouldn't survive it either. After Alec would be gone, maybe Magnus would lose himself to his agony and suffering and forget how to live.

But Alec didn't want that. He wanted Magnus to live his life even if he wouldn't be there with him.

And the worse thing is that, Alec didn't know how to comfort Magnus about his own mortality, because he knew that there is no comfort when it comes to this topic.

Because there is no way to tell someone that everything will be fine while knowing that one day that person will go through a horrible pain after losing the love of his life.

There is no way that Alec could tell Magnus that he will be fine after losing him, because Alec knew he wouldn't be.

 

''Magnus … I …'' started Alec, but not finishing his sentence, because he couldn't voice out his thoughts.

 

''Magnus look at me.'' said Alec, and when Magnus looked at him, when their eyes locked, Alec knew that words wouldn't be enough.

 

Magnus was looking like he was going through an unbearable pain. His eyes were red, tears were rolling down on his cheeks, and his eyes were holding a sadness and pain which moved Alec's core.

 

Alec was never able to handle seeing Magnus in pain.

So, still holding Magnus' hand with one of his, he moved away from Madzie, and using his bandaged hand, he moved Madzie a little away from him, and retracting his injured hand, he used his elbow to get up and sit on the bed, ignoring Magnus' protests.

Then, he pulled Magnus into him, and brought him into a hug, cutting off whatever Magnus was saying. As soon as their chest collided together, Magnus envelopped Alec in his arms and hold Alec tight against him.

 

It almost felt like for Alec, that Magnus was afraid that he would disappear anytime.

Alec brought both his arms around Magnus and hold him with the same strenght he was being hugged. And as soon as his arms envelopped Magnus, he felt Magnus' shoulders shake, and he felt Magnus tears fall on his back. Magnus hid his head, in the crook of Alec's neck, and Alec moved his head towards Magnus, and kissed the back of his head.

He brought his uninjured hand and caressed the back of Magnus' head, whispering tender words in his ear. His other hand was rubbing circles on Magnus' back.

 

Magnus let everything out, whatever he was feeling from this past few hours : the loss he felt after trading his magic, the voide he felt right after Asmodeus snatched his magic away from him, the feeling of being useless that he felt when Alexander was in pain and he couldn't anything about it, the realization he came across that he wouldn't be able to live if he lost Alec, the fear that came right after that realization, considering how would he survive if Alec wasn't healed in time …

 

All of those feelings that Magnus felt were becoming unbearable now, and of course, there was always a breaking point for everyone, when whatever they were feeling became too much.

So, hiding his face into Alec's neck, Magns let everything out by transforming his pain, anger, fear, and loss, into tears.

The more he cried, the more the weight in his chest was becoming heavier. But he was glad, so glad that Alexander was with him.

 

 

''It's okay, I'm here'' whispered Alec into Magnus' ear, still holding him close, and stroking his hair and his back.

 

A few minutes passed, and Magnus calmed down, his tears were dry now, but he was still holding Alec as if he was his life-line.

 

''Hey'' murmured Alec, tilting his head back, so he could take a look of Magnus. Backing away a little from Magnus, he brought his hand up and cleaned away his tears.

 

''Sorry'' said Magnus, pulling away from Alec, and using his hands to wipe away the rest of his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

''Look at me'' said Alec, holding Magnus' face between his hands,

 

''I know that … I know that seeing me hurt like that upset you, and Magnus … I can 't live without you either. And you … I mean …'' struggled Alec, searching for words. How was he supposed to tell Magnus that he didn't want to leave him alone but that he didn't have a choice in the matter. Alec was a shadowhunter, he was a mortal. He knew that there was no words which could heal the pain that Magnus was feeling.

 

''I know that seeing me like that made you afraid about your future … without me...'' Alec's heart was breaking in pieces while saying these words.

Magnus looked at him with a heartbreaking look, biting his lips to prevent himself from start crying again.

 

''And I know it's going to be hard, so hard, but you're the one who said that we should live in the present and not to worry about the future which is not here yet. And at the present, I'm here with you. And about the future … I promise you, that it will be alright, okay ?'' said Alec, wiping away the tears from Magnus' face which were falling down on his cheek.

 

''You don't know that'' replied Magnus, looking down.

 

''Of course I do. Do you know how ?'' asked Alec, making Magnus look up at him, and when he shaked his head letting known Alec his answer, Alec said,

 

''Because you're the strongest person I have ever met. You've survived so much, and you'll survive this too because … because you're strong.''

 

''I am not strong enough to deal with your loss''

 

''Magnus-''

 

''I can't lose you like I've lost everyone else... I can't, I can't...''

 

''Magnus, Magnus you're not going to lose me. I'll … Even if I am not there, I will always be with you.''

 

''How ?'' asked Magnus, whispering,

 

''Because I might disappear, but my love for you never will... It will always be here, right here.'' said Alec, bringing his hand down and putting his palm against Magnus' heart, feeling his partner's heartbeat under his touch.

 

''Okay ?'' asked Alec, tilting his head to the side, to take a look at Magnus, who still was looking down, but nodding. He probably was trying to hide his tears.

 

''Okay'' simply said Magnus, looking up and smiling at Alec sadly, and Alec looked back with equal pain in his eyes.

They both knew it, that the day they both fear the most will come one day, eventually. But like Alec said, they would first live their moments in the present.

They will fill them with pure love, happiness, passion, laughters … They will enjoy every single second of them.

 

''Come on, you-''

 

''Uncle Alec ?''

 

Both Alec and Magnus turned their head towards where they heard the voice, and saw Madzie getting up from her sleep, she sat on the bed, and rubbed her eyes with her wrists.

 

''Uncle Alec ? Uncle Magnus ? Why are you crying ??'' asked Madzie, looking at both of them with wide eyes, and a worried expression.

Alec and Magnus quickly wiped their tears away, and looked back at Madzie with smiles.

 

''Don't worry about us, come here, you sweatpea'' said Magnus, extending his arms towards her, and smiling, Madzie moved away from where she was, she got up on her feet on the bed, and passing by Alec's legs, she came in front of Magnus, and brought him in a hug.

 

''Magnus !!'' exclaimed Madzie, happily, and hugging him tight.

 

''Hey slowly muchkin, you don't want to fall on Alec and hurt him do you ?'' asked Magnus, hugging her back, and holding her, preventing her from falling to the side and landing on Alec's legs.

 

''Uncle Alec !'' exclaimed Madzie, detaching herself from Magnus' arms, and turning back to Alec, to look at him with a worried glance.

 

''Uncle Alec ! Are you okay ?'' asked Madzie, sitting between Magnus and Alec, facing the latter.

 

''I am perfectly fine'' answered Alec, stroking Madzie's hair, smiling at her.

 

''And someone told me, that I have you to thank you for, is it true ?'' asked Alec, smirking at her.

 

Mazdie looked down shyly, and Magnus was keeping both of his hands behind her back.

 

''Catharina said you were hurt badly'' said Madzie, and when she looked up at Alec, he noticed tears forming in her eyes, and tried to reassure her quicly.

 

''Oh no Madzie, I am okay now. I just a little … fight with … a bad guy. But you healed me, alright ? I am perfectly fine now.''

 

''You promise ?'' asked Madzie, bringing up her hand and showing him her pinkie finger.

 

''Pinkie promise'' promised Alec, laughing and locking his pinkie finger with hers.

 

''But are you alright ?'' asked Alec, looking at her with a frown, ''you must have used a quite lot of magic to heal me, you're not feeling exhausted ?''

 

''No Alec, I am alright, don't worry. Catharina said that I did really well !'' said Madzie, smiling proudly.

 

''Of course you did, it was amazing. You are really a special warlock !'' said Magnus, hugging her from behind. Madzie leaned against Magnus' chest and smiled happily.

 

''He is right, you're going to be such an amazing warlock when you're going to grow up !'' said Alec, looking at her with pride and happiness.

 

Then Madzie turned around, and sat facing Magnus.

 

''Magnus ?''

 

''Yes, sweatheart, what is it ?''

 

''Catharina also said that you had a problem with your magic !'' said Madzie, looking at Magnus with wide-eyes, and biting her lips.

 

''I … ''

 

Magnus didn't know what to say. Worrying Madzie about his loss of magic wasn't something Magnus wanted to do. But how was he supposed to reassure Madzie while he couldn't even take care of himself at this moment ? How was he supposed to tell Madzie that he'll be fine, knowing that he wasn't going to be fine …

 

''You know what ?'' started to speak Alec, seeing Magnus' internal struggle,

''Catharina was right, Magnus does have a problem with his magic...''

 

''Really ?'' asked Madzie, looking back and forth, between Alec and Magnus,

 

''Is it bad ?'' asked Madzie, worrying about her uncle Magnus. Magnus was an amazing person, he always thaught her how to use her magic without being afraid of it. If it wasn't for Magnus, she would still be afraid and uncertain about her abilities.

 

''No, no, it's not bad. And Magnus and his magic are going to be just fine. You know why ?'' asked Alec, smiling at her, holding Madzie by her shoulders with both of his hands.

 

''Why ?'' asked Madzie, frowning, looking at Alec with questionning eyes, and a curious expression.

 

''Because …'' started Alec, taking her by the waist, so she could sit on his lap. And hugging her from behind, he put his chin on her shoulder, and he said,

 

''Because Uncle Alec is gonna take care of Magnus, and I'm gonna make sure that his magic will be fine too. Alright ?''

 

Magnus was feeling so grateful, and so heart-warmed that Alec was being this supportive. Honestly, he wasn't even surprised, because Alec was someone who would be always present when his loved-ones needed his support and presence.

He was so glad that he wasn't going to go through this torture alone, that Alec would be here at his side, to share his pain with him.

 

Magnus always had the habit of taking care of himself without having no one else's help but his own.

Because Magnus knew that depending on other people was never a good choice.

But with Alexander, it was different. He _wanted_ Alec to take care of him, he _wanted_ to depend on him, he _wanted_ Alec's support, he _wanted_ to be cared for.

Before Alec, when he was in a relationship with people, he never craved for this type of … support and help, because he knew that it was too much to ask for, because he knew, and thought, that it would be a burden to them.

Nevertheless, with Alexander, he wanted to take those risks, he wanted to put his heart in his palm and hand it to Alec.

Because with Alexander, there was a feeling of safety, and even a little bit of danger. He wanted to put himself in the danger of getting heartbroken.

He wanted to trust Alec, and he did.

But seeing Alec say it out loud, that he would be there with him, to heal him, to help him... It amazed him, when he realized, once again, that Alec loved him endlessly.

 

''Do you promise ?'' asked Madzie, looking back at Alec, then at Magnus, with a worried glance, making Magnus come back from his thoughts.

 

''Of course, you trust me right ?'' asked Alec, but he wasn't looking at Madzie, he was looking at Magnus, with a shy smile, making Magnus smile back at him.

 

''Of course I do'' whispered Magnus, looking at Alec with love and fondness, while Madzie was nodding, showing Alec that she did trust him.

 

''So don't you worry, I will take care of everything'' said Alec,

 

''And I … , no _we_ will take care of you !'' replied Madzie, holding Alec's hands with her tiny hands, while Alec's arms were encircling her waist.

 

''Exactly'' said Magnus, moving his hand forward, to grasp Alec's hand, which was already being held by Madzie's.

 

Then Madzie yawned and leaned back against Alec's chest.

 

''I am tired'' murmured Madzie, closing her eyes.

 

''Why don't we take a nap again hmm?'' asked Alec, looking down at Madzie with a soft smile.

 

''Okay'' said Madzie, ''Can you take a nap with us Magnus ?'' asked Madzie, looking at Magnus.

 

''Uh-''

 

''Yes come on !'' said Alec, moving Madzie out off of his lap, putting her next to him, then moving aside to make a place for Magnus next to him, Alec laid himself back on bed.

 

''I don't want to trouble-''

 

''You're not troubling anyone, I need cuddles !'' said Alec, looking at him pleading eyes, which Magnus couldn't resist.

 

Shaking his head while chuckling, Magnus took his shoes and his jacket off, and laid next to Alec, while Alec put his arm around his shoulders.

 

Madzie laid down at Alec's side, holding his arm, closing her eyes, she went to sleep peacefully. Alec and Magnus would be fine, she thought. She would take of them. Such as they did with her.

 

Magnus, who was looking at Madzie who was already sleeping, realized how happy he was that he had this little family of his own. He had no doubt that, with her help, and along with Alec's, he did have all the support he could ask for.

Yes, he was terrified of this new challenge he has to face. But he had his family with him.

 

That's family do right ? Stick close together through good and bad times.

 

So, placing his hand on Alec's chest, and putting his head on Alec's shoulders, he looked up at Alec to see that he was already staring back at him.

Smiling down at him, Alec was caressing Magnus back with his hand, while taking a deep and long breath, and moving his head back to lay on his pillow.

 

''Long day uh ?'' asked Magnus,

 

''Yeah'' whispered Alec, closing his eyes, feeling the warmth of being surrounded by his loved ones.

 

''We'll be fine, right ?'' asked Magnus, with a low voice, almost whispering, looking up at Alec with hopeful eyes.

 

At Magnus' question, Alec opened his eyes again and looked down at him, he said,

 

''Always''

 

Embracing each other, and breathing in the love and comfort they were feeling at this moment, they went to sleep peacefully, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

 

Obviously, they still had problems and issues, but they would face them all.

 

Together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are welcomed :)


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